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When a loved one dies, the family often leaves the writing of the obituary up to the funeral director. When the obituary is left up to someone outside of the family, it often contains mistakes and doesn’t really say what the family would like it to. This causes added pain when an incorrect obituary is placed in the paper and it feels like your loved ones’ memory has been tainted somehow. It is best to write the obituary yourself because you are the one that knew the person the best and what is important to include and what is not. Some newspapers will not allow you to write the obituary as they have someone who does this job and the obituaries must follow a certain format. If this is the case, ask if you can collaborate with the newspaper instead of letting them deal exclusively with the funeral home. In any case, be sure to ask to see a final proof before the obituary goes into print.
When you are writing your obituary there are several important things to remember to include. Mention what your loved one did for a living. Even if they have been retired for many years, it is important to list their occupation. List any associations the person may have had such as Lion’s Club, volunteer fire department, or any clubs they may have participated in. List volunteer work or hobbies.
When listing surviving relatives, it is important to keep the list short and limited to the immediate family as there is not much space given to obituaries. Save the room for something personal about the person that you would want them to be remembered by. Remember, many acquaintances are going to learn about the death of your loved one by reading the obituary, leave something touching there for them to keep.
Check over the obituary with a fine-toothed comb, making sure there are no typos or grammatical mistakes, be sure to include the person’s age, or birthday and date of death and send your obituary to more than one paper. If your loved one had lived in another town or state for a portion of his life, send a copy to the newspapers in the other towns to notify people who may have knew him there.
People often save obituaries as remembrances of someone they loved, keep the obituary short but make sure it is something worthy of a scrap book and worthy of your loved ones’ memory.
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